Miranda Lets The Hills Run Red

This Saturday evening there was no way I was putting pants on so I opted to stay home, order take out and watch a horror flick. Sometimes these nights just need to happen, and watching people die makes it even better… But what really put the cherry on top of my night was prepping another #TastyTuesday for you all. The Hills Run Red directed by Dave Parker was my movie of choice. I love slashers and this one easily satisfied those needs, as well as my desire for some skin. I hope you didn’t miss out on last weeks #TastyTuesday review on ‘Dellamorte Dellamore’ but if you did you can still check it out. Unlike, Dellamorte Dellamore where you see the same set of honkers throughout the film, in ‘The Hills Run Red’ we get a variety of different shapes and sizes.

3021074_l2First off, let me get you caught up on the story. The Hills Run Red is about a film of the same title by director Wilson Wyler Concannon that was released in 1982.  Due to it’s ‘graphic depiction of sadism and murder’ the film was quickly pulled from theaters. The film was about a mass murderer who was referred to as ‘Dollface’. His facial skin was removed as a child, and he used a china doll face as a mask. Ever since the film was pulled, no cast member had ever been found, all known prints had vanished, and director Concannon had never been seen since. We meet Tyler in the present day, his girlfriend Serina and his friend Lalo. Tyler is obsessed with finding any information about the film and is convinced it is the most terrifying film ever made. He tracks down Concannon’s daughter Alexa who works at a stip club not too far away. Tyler pays Alexa a visit at work in hopes of convincing her to take him to where the movie was filmed. Strip club has got to be a magic word when it comes to #TastyTuesday….because you guys have got to know what’s next…

At only 07 mins and 43 secs in we get our first quick #TastyTuesday shot! Tyler is entering the strip club and the mood is being set. We’ve got titties up front, titties in the back, titties from the side, twirling titties, all kinds of titties!

Next up at 07 mins and 49 secs we see some dancing titties!

A couple of seconds later at 07 mins and 51 secs we have options because we see two sets of titties at the same time!

Then at 07 mins and 53 secs in we get another shot of a stripper shaking what her mama gave her.

At 07 mins and 58 secs we get another quick taste, and at 08 mins and 1 sec another look again.

They hold off for about 20 seconds and then at 08 mins and 21 secs we see another pair as the girl shakes her stuff around the pole. At 8 mins and 30 seconds in you can see the same girl still working her magic in the background.

You can pause it at 08 mins and 35 seconds and 08 mins and 39 seconds to see the same strippers boobies twice.

Our eyeballs get an unfortunate break for just over a couple minutes as we are introduced to Alexa for the first time in the VIP room where she dances for Tyler. Alexa is hot, and you know it’s going to be worth the wait. At the same time this is happening, we see Tyler’s girlfriend Serina hooking up with Lalo.

10 mins and 42 seconds in Alexa takes off her lingerie and we see her cannons for the first time and they are by far the best sight yet, as she slowly dances all sexy for him.

Then at 10 mins and 48 seconds we get a flash of Serina’s chest, also for the first time.

Back to Alexa, we get another glimpse at 10 mins and 50 seconds in.

We get a better look at Serina on top at 10 mins and 57 seconds in. At 11 mins and 03 seconds in we get another quick glance while Lalo is on top. At 11 mins and 05 seconds in this is my personal favorite shot of Selina, she’s flat on her back and we get a great view from above. They really are giving us many angles to choose from, we get another shot of Serina standing with Lalo behind her at 11 mins and 6 secs in.

The camera flips right back to Alexa and right where she left off, those two huge knockers take over the screen at 11 mins and 08 secs in and we get to continue looking at them until about 11 mins and 14 seconds.

Can you believe at this point we haven’t been in the strip club for 5 minutes and look at all the boobage!?

The camera switches back to Serina and at 11 mins and 18 seconds we get another peek.

We are back in VIP with Alexa and we catch some side boob as she straddles Tyler at 11 mins and 31 seconds in. She tells him to meet her outside when she is done work.

He waits in his car until she eventually shows up. They go back to a hotel room, where Alexa lives. Tyler starts asking questions about the movie and Alexa lets on like she doesn’t remember much, but if she did have the footage, she would burn it and scatter the ashes until there was nothing left. She assumes all Tyler really wants is sex and takes her top off.

At 15:00 mins in we once again get a view of Alexa’s side boob. They also kind of swing around a bit as she hops onto the bed. She’s holding her breasts with one arm but you still see her right nipple slipping out to say hello at 15 mins and 21 seconds in.

Every horror movie needs a shower scene, at 16 mins and 57 secs in you can pause it to catch Alexa’s sugar dumplings not melting in the shower.

sophie-monk-nude-the-hills-run-red-05Tyler eventually convinces Alexa to take him and his friends who are also his camera crew, to the house where the movie was filmed. They pack up their camping and filming gear and set off to go hiking in the woods. On the way there, they stop at a gas station that was in the film, while geeking out about it they come across a few rednecks who actually saw the film. Geeking out even harder, they film and interview one of the guys, who comes off as your typical unintelligent backwoods redneck. They don’t get much outta the guys so they continue on their way. They set off on foot into the woods and throughout the day come across different monuments from the movie and other creepy clues that show signs that maybe people actually died while making the film. During their trek, you are under the impression they are being stalked the entire time. The first night they set up camp, Tyler hears a noise in the woods. It turns out the rednecks have been following them and attack them with the intentions of robbing and raping them all. Conveniently enough, this is where Dollface decides to make his appearance for the first time. Slaughtering the rednecks, the friends all have a chance to escape. Alexa runs off into the woods alone and Dollface chases her. Tyler goes into the woods after her, leaving Selina and Lalo alone together. Tyler comes across the house where the movie was filmed and breaks inside. After finding a lot of weird shit and tons of strips of film with HIM and Alexa on it, he comes across Alexa tied to a bed in one of the bedrooms.

After all that tippy excitement at the beginning… we get our last sight here at 48 mins and 02 secs in of Alexa in only her underwear and tied to the bed.

Tyler unties her and they run out the front door bumping into Serina on the porch. I won’t tell you what happens to Lalo because that would be unfair. Dollface busts through the front door attacking Tyler and epicly throws him up against the wall, Selina openly says “Fuck this” and bolts which made me chuckle because I would do the same thing. We see Alexa tell Dollface to go ‘fetch’ her and now we know something is really up. Dollface eventually gathers Tyler, Selina and Lalo and brings them back to Alexa and her father, Wilson so they can ‘finish’ their movie. This is where things get really messed up, and I won’t give it all away.

thehills3The ending of this movie was sick and twisted, it also leaves the story open for a potential sequel. In my opinion, this film was sort of a mash-up of the Friday the 13th 2009 Reboot, The Town that Dreaded Sundown, and House of 1000 Corpses, I am a fan of all three films so it was easy for me to like this one.  Dollface himself was a cool concept and he made a pretty intimidating masked killer, even though he wears the face of a doll. It had a thorough storyline, but was also just an easy enjoyable watch. I would recommend this one to any of my fellow slasher lovers.