Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans (2015)
Written By Kevon Ward
Directed By Jimmy Lee Combs
Starring Kevon Ward, Heath C. Heine, Irene Leonatrd, Katie Bevard, Andy Hankins
Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans revolves around Hans (Kevon Ward) and his inbred, backwoods, redneck family; including Mama Crippleton (Irene Leonard), Cousin Bumpkin (Heath C. Heine), and One Legged Sis (Katie Bevard). As if this family didn’t have enough problems and issues to deal with merely by being who and what they are, they are also burdened with an unexplained zombie curse. This curse catches the interest of Barnaby Hunt (Andy Hankins), who is the host of a documentary series called Horror Hunts. As such, Barnaby and his camera man, “Camera Stan”, head to the Crippleton farm to get the scoop. What Horror Hunt captures is the rise and fall story of a deformed, inbred, alcoholic with a hunch-back and bad teeth who is semi-famous and deeply disgusting in pretty much every way imaginable, along with his equally disgusting family.
This was a movie with a very small budget but successfully stretched every penny. It was a great example of when life hands you lemons… Kevon Ward was great in his role of Hans Crippleton assuming that the intention was to completely gross out and morally rub the audience the wrong way. I would say that my favorite part of this movie was the idea of shooting it as a documentary style piece which would also heavily aided in the film’s budget as well as to allow for a lot of senseless and goofy moments. I was especially amused by the reveal that the farm was called the “Suckin’ Booze Farm” and the few moments where each member of the family ran down the list of the different names of the moonshine that they produced, such as the “once a monther”, the “puffy muff”, “crabs of the beach” and their specialty, the “cripple pickle”. I also found it thoroughly amusing that everyone, including Hans himself, referred to Hans as “The Hans”. It doesn’t take a lot to amuse mew, folks.
The entire time I was watching this movie, it reminded me of the original movies that have come out of the Troma camp, such as the Toxic Avenger series, the Class of Nuke’em High series, Tromeo and Juliet , Sgt. Kabukiman,N.Y.P.D., and Terror Firmer. I would absolutely consider that a huge positive nod as Troma has been doing great independent film for a long, long time and has been doing it very well. This movie felt like the greatest Troma film that Lloyd Kaufman and his awesome Troma team didn’t write. If you dig independent horror/comedy, give Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans a watch.
You can see the trailer for Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans here:
Keep it Scary!!!