Review: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)


Having worked in corporate America, I understand the mentality of the worker bee and more importantly, the hatred of it. It is a soul-sucking endeavor that exists only for others to benefit from. Yes, your bosses feel like vampires sometimes and your coworkers are full of life when they first come on-board, but soon , they are zombies. Yes. it’s all fun and good, but what if it was real? That is the premise of BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS, a horror comedy that will have you saying “Bam-Snap!” (trust me)…

Gk43DdzDlR8Evan Sanders (Fran Kranz) is having a bad week. His office romance with HR manager Mandy (Emma Fitzgerald), is done after he says literally the dumbest thing ever (She says “I love you”. His reply is “NOOOO”). On top of that, he has a big presentation due and is getting no help from his team, Tim (Joey Kern, who steals the film), Mike (Neil W. Garguilo), and Andrew (Justin Ware), because they are too busy, well, not caring. Yep. It’s a bad week. After believing he is going to be promoted to Sales Manager, he feels things are looking up. That is when things get worse! Enter Max (Pedro Pascal), a former collage enemy who is named…you guessed it, Sales Manager. So you would think that things couldn’t get any worse right? Well it just so happens that Max may be a vampire and soon the office starts to get dark…and bloody! As if Evan doesn’t have enough to deal with, he must now win his girl back, save his friends and kill his boss along with the vampire minions.

imageBLOODSUCKING BASTARDS is so much goodness it is unfair. Yes it is just as smart as Office Space (a film that it is often compared to), but it stands as its own film with a unique style of humor that sets it apart. Everyone brings their “A” game to the party and makes their characters believable. Evan Franz (Cabin in the Woods) and Emma Fitzpatrick (The Collection), hold it all together with great performances but Joey Kern (Cabin Fever) explodes in every scene, causing you to bust a gut.

With plenty of blood to go around, there are lots for fans of the genre to enjoy. Director  Brian James O’Connell does a masterful job with a tricky style and makes the whole thing work on multiple levels.

The Fortress Features film recently premiered at Slamdance  and will be coming home from Scream Factory later this year. This is one to watch out for. So rarely do we get something different these days that actually works. Don’t miss the opportunity!

Into 60’s hotrod cool, 70’s horror and 80’s punk. comics, video games.
Favorite Movies:Return of the Living Dead, Re-Animator, Evil Dead, Texas Chain-saw Massacre, Murder Mansion, etc.

Favorite Music:The Misfits (Danzig era), White/Rob Zombie, X, Marilyn Manson